I don’t read books that make me cry. At least, I don’t consciously seek them out. My favorite books however, those that have stayed with me, are those that made me ugly cry. Full Tilt has officially joined that list of stay-with-me books.
So this is the story of Kacey and Jonah. Two people who would ordinarily never have met let alone fallen in love. Kacey is the lead guitarist in a rock band, one that’s about to hit the big time. But she feels lost. She’s been lost for a while now but she’s always drowned it in alcohol. But now it’s all become too much.
I tried to imagine this girl playing electric guitar on stage in front of a screaming audience. She seemed ready to crack in two, and aside from her friend with the two-tone hair, it seemed like she had not one fucking person in the world to help hold her together.
And then she meets Jonah. Jonah is a limo driver by night and an artist by day. He’s hired to drive the band which is how he ends up with a drunk-out-of-her-mind Kacey. He plans to just drop her off but ends up having to take care of her. And their friendship begins.
I didn’t know it then – I couldn’t have – but in that moment, the rest of my life, or what was left of it, began.
They’re both attracted to each other, but Jonah won’t act on it. See, he’s sick with only months to live. But they can’t deny their attraction for too long, even though they know the end is fast approaching. Jonah prefers to structure his life. Follow the routine he’s created. That way he doesn’t have to feel too much. But Kacey comes to his life and disrupts it in the most beautiful way. And he can’t resist it. It’s just meant to be.
Yes to how fucking good she felt around me. Yes to how sweet her mouth tasted. Yes to the push and pull of our bodies towards the edge. And God, yes to her, this woman who’d burst into my life like a wrecking ball, smashing through my routine, bringing me back to life when I had already resigned myself to death. yes to her chaos, her raw emotion, her desperate need to be touched and held and loved. And yes, more than anything, fuck yes that it was me she wanted, that she unleashed herself in all her messy imperfection on me. Yes. To all of it. To us. To her. Yes.
God this was a beautiful story. The love that was undeniable and real.
I’d always dreamed my true love would swoop into my life, sweep me off my feet in one heroic gesture. I’d know him at once – a flame would burn between us immediately. No doubts or games. Love – and lust – at first sight. He’d rescue me from all the hurt and loneliness, and I’d never doubt I was loved.
To be honest with you, I’m a wuss. I read fiction to get away from reality. And this one was too real, too sad. I read the prologue twice before I could gather up the courage to move to chapter one. But I’m so so so glad I did. I mean, it meant wailing (once in public, because honestly, my heart can’t take this much heartache), but wow. What a book . Such a beautiful story told even more beautifully. I mean this author couldn’t have told this better…
“Her words sunk into my heart. Not the failing organ in my chest, but the part of me that beat for her, lived for her. I felt saturated with warmth and a happiness I didn’t think was possible to experience. Not at a time like this. Not at a place like this.
And in the end, I laughed, I cried and I learned. To live in the little moments because “we have so many. Thousands upon thousands.”
Amazon Buy Link -> Full Tilt by Emma Scott
I’d like to thank the author for providing this copy for my review.