I have never been more confused about how I feel about a book. On the one hand, such wonderful writing, poetic, lyrical… on the other hand… on the other hand what? I just don’t know how to explain that though I should give this book 5 stars for playing with my emotions, I want to give it 3 stars for playing with my emotions. It makes no sense. But I hope that during the review, I’ll be able to make sense of it.
Leila is a tax attorney… well more like a trainee at a Tax Law Firm in London. She has two sides to her though. While during the day she walks about as the self assured, witty lawyer… at night she masquerades as a whore – Charlotte.
“Life happens on both sids of the mirror, but only reflected sunlight splits Leila the lawyer from Charlotte the whore. So it came to be that I was not one girl, but two.
She’s managed to separate her two personas, but one night, it all comes to an end. She goes to one of her ‘gigs’ as Charlotte, only to find that two men have hired her. Her boss Joseph, and her colleague Matt. She doesn’t know how to react, she knows Matt, even flirts with him at times. Yet she dreams of Joseph doing decadent things to her. So as much as she should say no, she doesn’t. And her story begins.
I didn’t know what to expect with this book. I went in totally blind, with only the knowledge that it was Dark Erotica. I expected more of a Stockholm syndrome story… that’s the kind of Dark Erotica I read after all. But was surprised to find more of a Original Sinners-esq kind of story. In fact, there were a lot of things that reminded me of the Original Sinners. One, the heroine… so like Nora. Witty and sexual…and combining the two. I loved that. In fact after a few of these kinds of similarities I started to wonder who inspired who…
The short of it is that Leila is caught between two men. Matt…
“I think I know what you are Leila,” Matt murmured. “You’re my punishment. I want you so badly, but you’re not mine.”
Joseph did not kiss me with the absent abandon of a client. He kissed me as a lover would, razors and all.
And while Matt is the normal way to go. While Matt can bring out the good in her… Leila is inherently bad. She craves more… or as she says, Charlotte craves more. Charlotte wants to play with fire… or knives as it were. Matt is too safe for Charlotte… and while Leila fights to be good… Charlotte is anything but…
“When you value something enough to give it a name, you should worry. You think it makes it separate from you. You think it happens to somebody else.
I read the book ooh-ing and aah-ing about the writing. So flawless… so witty… the characterisation so brilliant (shout-out to Aidan who should get his own book!). Problem is, I felt almost detached from the story… as if the writing itself was the only reason I held on. Maybe it’s because it was very smutty and I’d just come from reading something that wasn’t.
That being said, I knew who I was cheering for… between Matt and Joseph. Leila tortured herself with the decision and at first I felt for her. I mean, I’m as indecisive as they get. But when she started jumping from one to the other, I got angry. Especially since it was almost unremorseful.
Honesty. Monogamy. I sucked at both of them, frankly… Over the years, my little lies had solidified into a shiny coat of armour. I told myself I protected others but I was, of course, just looking after myself.
An honest moment of self reflection. At one point I got so angry with her, I wanted to quit the book only to find out that I was at 88%.
88%. Shocking that it went so fast. Which made me realise yet again what a good job the author had done. I didn’t like that Leila was so back and forth… but later on I realised that I was back and forth as well, so how could I blame her? I guess I just wanted Leila to have foresight that I didn’t. To make me understand her actions (or reactions.) I wanted Leila to win over Charlotte… Good over bad. Flowers over knives.
The story is far from over though. I think I have an idea who Leila will choose. The problem is, I still don’t know if it’s the right choice.
So all in all. An intriguing story. What should you expect? Wit, clever banter… and BDSM, of the darker variety.
Amazon Buy Link – Breaking Leila by Lucy V. Morgan
I’d like to thank the author for providing this copy for my review.